Danee.
From San Diego to the bay.
Thai, Laos, & Vietnamese.
Future hair & make-up artist.

I write about the hurt and the pain and the bitterness that I feel. And, I tend to write about the same person and the same things over and over again in different words. I love to love but I hardly ever do. I am sensible and I let my mind speak for itself. I’m not sure if I love who I’ve become, but I’m getting there.

There’s nothing like a man who is mature, caring, and has a heart. And at the same time, has tattoos, piercings, and smokes cigarettes.

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I honestly can’t believe I can sit here for a year and a half thinking about the same person and still contemplate about all the things I could have done wrong and what I could have possibly done to make things right. And, all these things consume my thoughts when I even think about letting someone new into my life. The thing is, is I’m not hurting anymore. I’m not bitter anymore. And, I don’t need this person in my life. But I feel like as much as I don’t need this person, he is the only person I can truly see myself with without having to be so picky. And, I guess that’s because I get so picky with other men that I meet. And, it never seems to last very long. It kind of amazes me that after so long, I can’t find the heart to let it all go. And to stop thinking about my past. It affects me so much now, that I can’t even allow myself to share my life with someone else. And, it gets so lonely. God, it gets lonely not having anyone but yourself, not being able to share your day with someone at the end of the day, and not being able to come home to someone whose going to be there and to be happy to see you or to hear from you. I just want to share my life with someone who wants to be in my life. But, I can’t. And, it’s so hard because how can you share your life with someone when you’re thinking about someone from your past all of the time? You just can’t. And, that’s something I struggle with everyday.

(Source: daneephermsin)

Notes: 17 notes
Posted On: Sat, Feb. 18, 2012

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