I honestly can’t believe I can sit here for a year and a half thinking about the same person and still contemplate about all the things I could have done wrong and what I could have possibly done to make things right. And, all these things consume my thoughts when I even think about letting someone new into my life. The thing is, is I’m not hurting anymore. I’m not bitter anymore. And, I don’t need this person in my life. But I feel like as much as I don’t need this person, he is the only person I can truly see myself with without having to be so picky. And, I guess that’s because I get so picky with other men that I meet. And, it never seems to last very long. It kind of amazes me that after so long, I can’t find the heart to let it all go. And to stop thinking about my past. It affects me so much now, that I can’t even allow myself to share my life with someone else. And, it gets so lonely. God, it gets lonely not having anyone but yourself, not being able to share your day with someone at the end of the day, and not being able to come home to someone whose going to be there and to be happy to see you or to hear from you. I just want to share my life with someone who wants to be in my life. But, I can’t. And, it’s so hard because how can you share your life with someone when you’re thinking about someone from your past all of the time? You just can’t. And, that’s something I struggle with everyday.

(Source: daneephermsin)


Saturday, February 18th, 2012 @ 10:23 PM ♥17 notes | Permalink
Notes: 17 notes
Posted On: Sat, Feb. 18, 2012
  1. isaacmartinez said: i miss talking to you.
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